Movie Review: "Snowball Express" (1972) HBO January 1st, Friday, 6:30 am

The first movie listed in the January '82 guide is Snowball Express, airing at 6:30 am, perfectly appropriate for the little ones to wake to (see previous post for my comments on the similarly inappropriate scheduling of Border Cop immediately afterwards at 8:30). This is a Walt Disney production starring Dean Jones (whom I recognized from somewhere when I first saw him, and it appears I'm remembering from the Herbie the Love Bug Disney flicks as I don't see anything else in his oeuvre that looks remotely familiar) and the instantly recognizable Harry Morgan (actually instantly known from his characteristic voice more this his appearance, hidden as it is behind a scraggly beard in this appearance) from the TV series MASH. Also noteworthy is the little freckly ginger kid (Johnny Whitaker) from Family Affair, a late '60's/early '70's TV show I remember well in syndication during the late '70's, typically aired around the Partridge Family and similar.

The plot goes as follows: protagonist Johnny Baxter gets the call we all dream of (those of us that are employed at least), he has come into an unexpected inheritance, and he can tell his boss to take the proverbial 'job and shove it'. Insert cameo by Dick Van Patten here. Yay. Eight was never enough was it really?

So Mr Baxter uproots his family and takes the carload out to the wild west of Colorado, in high anticipation of the property he has inherited. It turns out -of course- this is no goldmine; in fact, it would appear he has inherited a money pit of a dilapidated hotel. Not one to be easily discouraged, Baxter decides he is going to make something of this seeming disaster (he has quit his day job after all, and the kids are starting to whine) and realizes the property would make a great ski resort.

Now we just need startup money. Enter the villain banker. Villain banker? Redundant you say? Everyone has to make a buck, but this guy gives off bad vibes, and our friend Baxter seems oblivious despite his wife's misgivings. What precisely did dad sign away when taking the loan?

Will the resort come together? How will Baxter, who has never set foot in ski boots pull this off? Well folks, this is Disney. We knew going in that it was highly unlikely to end in despair and mass destruction; it is all about how we get there and how much fun we, the viewers, have along the way. Snowball Express is a fun romp along this journey, with solid acting, and some legitimate laugh out loud slapstick stunts, most often related to our hero's attempts at skiing - made all the more funny due to the pre-cgi/green screen production. Think actors in front of moving action on a projection screen and you get the drift (ha f'ing ha).

In sum, I expected this film to be tedious and predictable; though the latter was essentially true, the former was not. I quite enjoyed it to be honest. Heartwarming, fun, and a reminder of the glory days of Disney, prior to PG13 and 'whoa...was this really meant for kids?' awkward moments. And yet, most importantly, not overtly preachy in its morality play. A solid 2 out of 4 stars.

So, it's coming up on 10 in the morning. What's on next mom? Why it's Nine to Five starring Dolly Parton and Lily Tomlin and, of course, Jane Fonda! Have always loved this movie and look forward to watching it for the umpteenth time (was frankly shocked when spell-check didn't indicate a problem with umpteenth...that's really a legit word?). As one piece of stray lint said to another, see you on the back side.

PS Unfortunately (or not if, like myself, you love this sh*t) you will have to wade through 12 minutes of commercials to find a couple spots related to Snowball Express. Have fun!